Jeff and I went to go see "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy" last week. I was really in the mood for a good movie, and it's been a long time since I've seen anything that I would call "good". I needed a distraction. Well, I still haven't seen anything good as it was terribly disappointing. I love spy movies, I love "different" movies, you know, the artsy type, but Tinker, Tailor... was just plain annoying. Vague for the sake of being vague. What little dialogue there was was so mumble-y that I couldn't make heads or tails of it. It only served to continue to feed my frustration... (for bad movies and in general)
So, I've been frustrated lately. Uncomfortable. Maybe it's the winter blues. Mostly because I feel like something's missing, or wrong. I actually know what what it is, it's design. Harmony. Balance. Feng Shui even. I've come to realize that my yard is getting on my nerves, that something just doesn't feel right because it's not, it's just a hodgepodge of plants. I'm very left-brained and have very little knack for creativity.
I want my garden to be more than just a buffet for wildlife. I want it to be a provocative display that pleases humans as well. I want to "wow" people, is that asking too much? (Yes) I've been reading about the famous landscape architects Wolfgang Oehme and James van Sweden, and Piet Oudolf, and can see that it is possible. I can also see that my yard looks a bit shoddy. Well, of course it would compared to the works of those guys, but I tend to set high standards for myself.
So many things are stacked against me: the big trees and shrubs in the wrong places that were already here that I don't want to cut down because they hide our hideous neighbors, the winter winds, the summer droughts, the bedrock laying 18 inches beneath the soil surface, the deer, the rabbits...need I go on? When you limit yourself to natives on top of those, what's left? How can I create beauty in the holy names of Oehme and van Sweden with that?!
I know what I like when I see it, but I have a hard time actually coming up with ideas on my own. Basically, I think I know what my yard needs, it's just so hard trying to imagine and design when everything's asleep under the soil. Looking at pictures of the flower beds from last year only fuels my angst. I hate moving plants because it means losing a year, more or less, which is agony for the impatient gardener like myself. I will have to though, and I'm sure as soon as I start correcting some of my design errors, I'll feel better. I'm too embarrassed to post pictures here and ask for suggestions. Realistically I'm also too self-critical and self-conscious. (I'm sounding like a loonie aren't I) At least I can admit it.
Like I said, maybe it's the winter blues, maybe it's the moon, maybe everything will be fine once spring arrives and I can start moving forward...
OK, I feel a little better, I've purged...
*Google (or whatever) Oehme & van Sweden and Piet Oudolf and see what I'm talking about. I dare you to say their works aren't gorgeous.